Vauxhall Jam


The last resting place of the executive mobile


Landrover used off road shocker


Sign post


Calzone survey


Tent city


Local watering the lines


Ant and Bently


Amber lamps


WYTL train


Ritchie Dagger. Top chap.


Folded pizza one legger


WYTL boost


Happy Fids


Das Fritz spinning to win


Game of nails, I got bored



I guess you can’t really put steak in front of a dog and leave them for a couple of hours and expect to come back to find the steak as you left it, you also can’t really blame the dog for eating the steak. A dogs going to do what a dogs going to do.

Anyway, thinly veiled metaphorical tales out the way a couple of weekends a go it was the Vauxhall trails jam/birthday bash camp over which I had been looking forward to for some time. Jonny Calzone actually grew up about 15 mins from the trails and was planning a trip home the same weekend so we jumped into his convertible saab (not a van) and head on down. Rarely a day goes by that I don’t marvel at Jonny C’s executive lifestyle and the trip down was a breeze right up until the engine fell out and he could only find fourth gear and reverse. He then told me his last service wasn’t the most successful and he recounted his exchange with the folks in the garage “Oh yeah, I had it serviced a while back and they said the engine mounts were really rusty and about to break but I thought they were just hamming it up…”

“Oh yeah, I had it serviced a while back and they said the engine mounts were really rusty and about to break but I thought they were just hamming it up…”

Turns out a half dead Saab is still more reliable than a van and we rolled up onto a grass verge opposite the trails and came to a halt with a slight smell of smoke filling the car and a few whisky clouds coming up from under the wheel arches.

We’d never been to Vauxhall trails before (defo not in any van) and as per usual they were notably bigger than I was expecting, they were also more downhill than I thought they would be with lots of rollers and berms before the main jumps, but with Bently (akabowser) constantly bullying me I couldn’t come up with some lame excuse and just have a few ciders while heckling. The session started pretty chilled but after an hour or so some wee park lads who were having their first day out in the woods did themselves in a treat which brought a bit of a temporary end to things… luckily it wasn’t toooo bad and once he was stretchered off and the bloody was covered up with a layer of dust the riding began again, if a little gingerly… apart from Das Fritz, who turned up, 3′d every set, then with a hand shake and a cackle bid farewell. Always a treat. Things got going again in the end and there were the obligatory endless trains, we also did a 3 man train with a combined age of over 100 (Bently Calzone and myself).

The plan was to either camp at Vauxhall or head over to Spooks and do the same but with the untimely demise of Jonnys executive mobile and the lack of any van based form of transport I packed my bag and headed to the local train station for what turned out to be a surprisingly quick and easy 45 mins back into the smoke. To be perfectly honest my old bones were well and truly worn out so as much as I was gutted to be missing a chance to camp over at Spooks and spend the following day running everything in a few train beers and my own bed were also quite shithot.

A massive thanks to Ryan and the other locals for a great day.

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Vauxhall Jam

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