Bezzy Dad™ fact kick off:

The second largest city in Spain with a population of 1.6milion.

It is the 11th-most populous municipality in the European Union and sixth-most populous urban area in the European Union after Paris, London, Rhine-Ruhr Area, Madrid and Milan with the population 4,185,000.

The modern name of Barcelona can be directly transcribed from ancient Catalan. “Barce” short for “Barcestados” was a common phrase to describe an annoying cowardly thief. “Lona” literally translates as “wayward hippy”. Even though the developed world has long since forgotten the trend you can still see the ancient art of white-man dreadlocks post millennium in this historic city. The recession doesn't seem to have made a dent on this place either as traditional family businesses like bag snatching and other sketchy petty crime is a booming industry with global effect.

The trip kicked off on a salubrious 7am Terravision coach (living up to its namesake on our return) from central London to Stansted. Bezzy Dad™ breakfasts accompanied with Lads-on-tour Weatherspoon Pints (yeah I had a coffee, big whoops, I'm still a man). No airport hitches or lateness put an excellent mood to the start of our trip.

We arrived at our apartment in Barceloneta, a tramps nipple from the city beach. Now I've seen some small places in my time. I've been to Singapore and stayed in the most cramped hotel room I've ever seen. Lets not forget, being a northerner, I generally have pretty low expectations on life. But this place was small even by Chris Gordon standards, who incidentally joined the trip, along with The Poof, Rupert and The Beak.

The steps up to the room were deffo from the Fritzl school of architecture; minimal chance of escape. The lift unsurprisingly couldn't even accommodate Union bars. Fortunately as Rupert spent most of the trip Doing A Rob© there was enough room for us to manoeuvre, even if having a shit meant doing some sort of cross between the Limbo and Bikram Yoga!

Oh yeah riding, shit hot. This was my first time in the city, I'd seen the endless street spots on Facetube etc, even checked the places out on Bezzy Dad Google Earth™, but it was still quite amazing to see first hand what can be achieved architecturally with a bit of frikin balls. It seriously shits on most cities I've ever visited, while still managing to retain its historical charm ...even though it's full of thieving gypo's and punters. Needless to say we came, we saw, we shut down, stepped up, there were so many hammers dropped it was like a bomb had gone off in B&Q. Information to exactly what went down is a little hazy, errr footage may have been stolen by the 'Deadline Crew' but I can proper draw you pictures of what we may have done, deffo. If you see any of Ty Morrows Stuff just imagine it was us, done.

Skaters, funny bunch aren't they? Usually perfectly alright, although they do always think they're a bit good, but then you would in comparison to BMX (eeeeeps). Then you get the Dicks, El Cock Grande. We met one chump who decided we were steppin' on his turf or summit. He didn't get Brief Case Wankers' jokes ...then again who does. Offering to stab someone for a bad joke, while his 50 mates give us beat downs 'Warrior' style is pushing it a tad I'd say.

Rupert did a Rob, then got robbed 3hours before our flight. Passport and cameras taken (with loads of sick footy on 'em honest) by an annoyingly sly manoeuvre while waiting for the bus. Thieving slimy gypo's! Seriously though its like an accepted career out there, it can't be that hard to frikin get rid of them. That's the only downside of that place and its completely rife.

Ross took two weeks to write the above, and it still wasn't finished. So this is Ben speaking now. To summarise, the holiday was 'shithot' the weather, the beach, the beer and the pizza were 'shithotter' but Chris' lame attempts to (unsuccessfully) pair the rest of us of with Michael Jackson's younger, fatter, whiter, uglier Welsh cousin, were definately not 'shithot'. The poof seemed keen though, in between aggro cartwheels.

The pictures above might paint a better picture of how great a time we had, and if you need some help deciphering this gobbledygook (racist) then check out the lingo dictionary in the post below.