Egg Beater

Beakotron / Eggs / third person caption

people sitting

local leaf litter

polite cradle graf

pierre from the dock / tabe

Dad slide / Et rude le grande enfant

merlin gareth / mega panny

Happy Hippy / morose Mega Swede

I was going to write a long, involved and probably pretty boring piece about how to increase flexibility in your arms and shoulders, so we can all learn to do X-ups like Beak. But when I made a crack about stretch Armstrong to him, he just said “just throw your bars round, ‘n hope yer hands don’t come off when you want to pull em back. If you punch yersen in the tricep then you know it were a good en.”

So that’s that covered, heres a recipe for scrambled eggs instead:

Crack a few eggs.
Heat a pan.
Put a good sized knob of butter in the pan and maybe a tiny drop of oil.
Beat the eggs a bit to show em whos boss. Not too much mind.
Put the eggs in the pan with the melting butter.
Get a utensil.
Let the eggs slowly start to cook on a low-medium heat.
Every now and then fold the eggs over, in a kind of slo-mo whisk action.
You can add a bit more butter now if you like.
Put a sprinkle of coarse ground black pepper in.
When the eggs are good and yellow (hopefully with some streaks of white), but still really good and wet, take them off the heat.
Slop your eggs on some good rye or sour dough toast (buttered obvs).
Sprinkle a bit more pepper on top.
Add ketchup if you like (I do).

You could, unlike the Viccy Park locals, clean up after yourself too.

And there you have it, BMX isn’t quite what it used to be but at least you can’t fuck with a good breakfast.

Photos: Jasper
Words: Jasper’s paw
Captions: Beak

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