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In less you have been living in a hole for the past few weeks you must of known about the Nike Pool contest event thing that was on over the weekend.

Now, I’m not usually one for enthusiasm but I was actually pretty bat shit excited about going to this event, the the course look insane, the rider list was pretty much everyone anyone would want to see plus, and maybe more importantly, there was free food and drink all day.

I did start to write a long and rambling recount of the Nike Pool event but then realised no one wants to read a load of waffle so I will cut it down to a few note worth bullet pointed events…

Dagenham is a shithole and on the walk to the event we suspected we had wandered into some sort of “poor simulator” as a rough looking woman in a tracksuit being dragged by 3 hideous dogs cascade out a house as we walk past as if on cue.

Drug Slut Pro Ho girl was the first person saw when I walked into the bleachers looking like an emo version of Tina Turner in Return to the Thunderdome but not as good, and powered by cock rather than pig shit.

The Course was bloody wild, as was the riding, Drew whats-his-name can’t be all there as did the biggest, daftest gaps and tricks with a great big kids smile on his face all day.

The food was terrible, a weird selection of fat heavy beigeness, Mike Netley got well and truly stuck in. The poor mans supermarket, Morrisons, next door was little better and it wasn’t until I got back to the safety of East London that night that I could treat myself to something edible, cheese chips salad in a pitta, £3.80 and worth every penny.

Ruben turned his bars around 100 times more often than he really needed to, time to bow out gracefully old boy.

It was impossible to take more than 6 steps without bumping into some old pal, which was quite pleasant.

Norwich legand Dezzie Desquist will never cease to amaze, he always had a suspect relationship with his sister (“You know when you have a few and you end up looking into each others eyes like you know you want to sleep together”) but finding out he nearly scuppered her marriage by being caught going at it with her husband-to-be really pushes new boundaries, and who said there is no innovation in Norfolk?

Free beer is good, but thats hardly a revelation.

Saturday was shithot™.

There were a bunch of iPhone snaps from the actual weekend but it’s been documented so many times and so better elsewhere I wil instead leave you with a video from our private Pool session, which is, to be honest, sub par at best…

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