Wednesday's back, still shithot and still not reposting other peoples shit.
This site used to be loosely based around the regular Wednesday sessions at Cantelowes, London, but that kinda petered out. Primarily due to everyones slackness, the construction of better bowls and everyone getting bored of seeing another table photo followed by a pic of an overpriced pint from the Grand Union...
Or maybe that was just us. Anyroad, we will be 'notably having it' from now on.
I’m not sure when this happened, but it was definitely a few weeks ago now. I know this because it was sunny, short wearing weather, long before I had to dig out my gloves and hat for the morning ride to the office.
To further confuse myself and whom ever is reading this (probably about 4 people, including Chris, if Google Analytics is anything to go by) as to when these events actually took place, I will continue this wordy jaunt in the first person.
Today is sunny. Chris is not cooking me breakfast, he is cooking a selfish team breakfast for Kris Shee and Johnny Calzone. I am eating sausages from the Ginger pig at home “these are better than Chris’ selfish team breakfast” I am currently thinking to myself as I eat the sausages.
What seems like at least 25 minutes pass and I find myself at chez Gordon. Helping Jonny put a brake on his bike. I say helping, I am watching. Watching as Jonny and Kris make a hash of it. Anyone who knows me will know that this is hard for me to do, but I am determined not to help. I do not help.
We are now on the road, in Kris’ nice van, filled with Ikea cabinets. I am in the back. It’s nice. Nobody seems to know where we are going and seem to be making a hash of using the sat nav. I help. Well I say that, I sit in the back and do not help. Anyone who knows me will know that this is hard for me to do. I do not help.
After what seems like 50 odd minutes, because it was, we arrive in a nice housing estate.
I say nice, but it was not. It was filled with those horrible 70′s abominations of suburbia. We have parked up, got our cycles from the van and embarking on a journey into some unknown woodland, on a public bridleway behind a nice bungalow (not nice). “Turn right” the direction on Facebook say. We turn right. This is wrong.
Thankfully a kindly local who also has a bike has confronted us. “Yeah, off to the trails jam? You’re going the wrong way, follow me”. We do, through about 1/2 mile of dense woodland. The Facebook event directions definitely would not have led us anywhere near to here.
What now confronts us are some jumps, many jumps, many nice jumps. I say nice but this time I mean nice. Paul Weller greets us. He looks different to the photo’s i have seen of him, he has a moustache, shorter hair but still has the Jam. Which was now in full swing.
People are jumping, people are sitting, people are BBQ-ing, teenage girls take photography project photos from below with daddy’s DSLR, skatepark kids are pedalling.
Chris is excited for once, after months of being miserable
Kris is also excited because he has just realised, after 15 years, that trails are the best form of riding. Jonny is excited, but then he always is. I am nervous. New jumps are scary.
We jump. I overshoot. Then I overshoot again. Then again. Then Kris comes up short on one set, by short i mean halfway. He lands, still attached to the bike and head-butts the back of the landing. I’m not sure this could be repeated if he tried. I laugh, we all laugh. These smaller lines are hard. Lets jump the bigger ones. We do this, all is well.
All is not well, Johnny has crashed. I can’t quite see what has happened, but from all accounts he has slipped off the side of a downside and hit his face on the ground. He is dazed and bloody. He sits it out, and we feed him cider. All is well again. He says he has been to Bedford. I still think all is well.
The light is fading now, we have all had a thoroughly enjoyable day. We bid our farewells and thank Paul for his generosity. We head out of the woods, ignoring the reverse of the Facebook directions as they are still wrong. We return ourselves to the van and set off home.
What seems like 3 minutes pass. It is actually 4. We see a chip shop, we all agree that buying chips and buying beer will make the journey home more enjoyable. We do this. They serve gravy at this chip shop, this is rare. Myself and Kris partake. Today is a good day.
Thanks to Paul and the rest of the folks at Cedar woods for a spot on day. Now check out the photos up there that Chris shot, if you haven’t already.